Wild Wedding
It was getting dark outside at my aunts wedding so we lit the tiki torches . Out of nowhere a flame hit my aunts beautiful white dress. She started panicking, then she ran around the pool missed a step and fell face first into the water. Everyone gasped, her husband dove into the pool and started swimming towards her. He pulled her out of the pool and they celebrated there first incident the had, and survived. It was soon time to go home. Even though it was a fun but crazy experience I couldn't wait to have a nice long sleep in tomorrow.
A very creative idea for a story this week. Your last three sentences have some little mistakes that are easy to fix. Many of your sentences begin with 1,2 or 3 letter words, I wonder how you can change some of the beginning words for sentence variety.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the feed back and I fixed the mistakes.
ReplyDeleteI really love your story, Kenzie. I think it was the second to last sentence, were it says "the had" instead of "they had." Other than that your story is great.
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